05th February 2012

I have been watching a few YouTube videos and thought you should see them.

Manhole Cover explode in the face of a man, not Turtles attacking I’m sure.

The title is “Scariest Japanese Game Show EVER!” but its really stupid jap idiots at it again!

I’m thinking about learning Spanish, who am I kidding, that would take too much effort. I’m hoping the language of love speaks volumes, and if all else fails vodka.

 

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1st February 2012

Dennis Parker (AKA Wade Nichols) when sliver clothes were cool and not gay in any way shape or form! Like an eagle flying through the air Dennis has his wings clipped and was unlucky enough to catch AIDS I assume while he was making the 70s porn films. Just for your guys here are a couple of his videos for the track Like and Eagle.

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23rd January 2012

Because it getting more and more dangerous on the streets or the golf course we now have the anti-ballistic (bullet proof) polo shirt. I want two please at a snip $3,475 each!

This anti-ballistic (bullet proof) polo shirt takes safety to an altogether new level. Designed by Colombian designer Miguel Caballero for his Black Label Collection, which is world renowned “high-security fashion.” High profile clients include action hero Steven Seagal, King Abdullah of Jordan, President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, President Alvaro Uribe of Colombia, Prince Felipe of Spain, and other notable V.I.P.’s. This polo shirt comes in three levels of protection:

OPTION IIA:   9mm / 40 Smith and Wesson FMJ

OPTION II: 9mm / .357 Magnum / 38 Super / Mini Uzi submachine gun

OPTION IIIA: Uzi machine gun / MP5,MP9 submachine gun / 44 Magnum SJHP / Stab-proof

The product site

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04th December 2011

Boobs and a hair cut

Finally, a barber shop that lives up to its name and reputation. Hotcuts, which employs topless hairdressers, is taking Australia like the fist of an angry god. Boobs and a haircut, you know you’d be getting a trim every week and sometimes twice a week.

And the BBC reports A plan to open a barbers with topless staff in Norwich is facing opposition.

The Qube bar in Prince of Wales Road, the city’s nightclub district, could be run as a daytime salon with topless stylists.

Rebecca Bird wants permission from Norwich City Council for change of use. She has declined to comment until the application has been heard.

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29th November 2011

Everybody loves a good old Hitler rap!

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20th November 2011

Cute and a bit wrong.

Firstly the cute

And a bit more cute

The wrong. I know its hard to keep staff but this takes the piss, Monkeys working as waiters.

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30th October 2011

Handsome coke sniper, make sure you have him on speed dial.

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30th October

Burp Girl

This bird puts most men to shame, she burps like a trooper.

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26th October 2011

Seig heil with me.

Frank Sanazi does make me laugh I’d like to book him for my wedding just to piss the in laws off.

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12th October 2011

Vulva! (I smell like a pussy)

Red blooded males love beer and pussy’s (not the cats) and now you can walk into a bar with a waft of cunt all over you. (Read post below you can drink it too)

Vulva Original is a product of Germany from a company called Vivaeros. It’s a sweet yet tangy blend of a vag that’s about to get munched and/or plowed. Break out the porn and the spank towel then let the Vulva waft up your nose..You know you want to.

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12th October 2011

100% Pussy

Yes that’s right, all I drink is pussy and it doesn’t taste like fish, or cost me $100 on a lonely Saturday night.

Pussy is a 100% natural drink. No nasty chemicals and nothing manufactured. It is made for people looking for a natural alternative.

The name Pussy shocks and demands attention – that’s the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity. This is a premium energy drink named with confidence.

COME AND GET YOUR PUSSY HERE……The website

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02 October 2011

Zombie Interviews

http://www.vimeo.com/29853194

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18th September 2011

Funny videos I found on the net:

Form what I gather its a contest with stick of ice shaped like a dildo and a olive in the centre. The first one to get the olive out wins.

This is a mix of Lily Allen and the Little Hobo “Lilyest Hobo” Very catchy and well edited.

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18th September 2011

The gherkin for drinks? Go on then but as long as your paying! It’s nice but I would like to sit and have a cigar with a stiff drink looking out the window.

I took all the photos with my iPhone 4.

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11th September 2011

Symphony of Science – the Quantum World!

Morgan Freeman A musical investigation into the nature of atoms and subatomic particles.

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08th September 2011

Recently there has been some cool Star Trek ads on the Underground and if that gets you all excited why not try StarTrekDating.com

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26th July 2011

Money well spend $20,000 on a scuba diving cat!

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4th July 2011

Scientist in the playboy mansion have discover the cure to erection problems, or as the girls put it “You Fukin Piss head Twat” and today released this picture. Gotta love Hef’s scientist its working for me…

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15th June 2011

I’ve found the place where I want to live. No neighbours to piss me off at 3am playing a xylophone. BBC

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30th May 2011

I would like to live on a space ship it would get me away from the nagging wife and we could just fire all the garbage into space. I’d definitely empty the bin, every time.

Cool Stalking Shatner website check it out

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30th May 2011

Sod going to the loo anymore. Get me a nappy!

China’s rural poor are gearing up for their annual New Year railway odyssey

CHINESE new year is just days away. Sales of firecrackers are soaring and shelves are groaning as families stock up for the greatest festival of the year. Loved ones are going home for a reunion in the biggest movement of humanity on earth.

For many, the chief challenge is just to buy a ticket for the journey. Most feel that they must be home by Saturday — in time for the lavish New Year’s Eve dinner.

The railway system groans under the weight of as many as four million travellers a day. Monday saw a record 3.8 million crowded on to China’s trains that chug slowly between cities as far apart as Harbin in the northeast and Kunming, about 30 hours away in the south.

Stations sell twice as many tickets as there are seats. Every space is filled. Travellers crouch on the floor, sleep in luggage racks and sit for hours in stinking lavatories. Using the toilet is out of the question.

Adult nappy sales are soaring — up by 50 per cent in some parts of southern China — as migrant workers prepare for 30-hour train journeys with no chance of a trip to the lavatory.

Li Tingting, 30, learnt the hard way. She remembers climbing over thousands of travellers as she searched for a toilet. She found none. She made the 19-hour journey from Beijing to her home in central Hunan province only by jumping off the train at one station and racing into a public toilet. “I climbed over so many people, but every space was full. I checked all the toilets. Next year I bought an adult nappy,” she said.

This year she will not be among the wave of humanity returning home.

She says her parents understand that the unpleasantness of the journey outweighs even the annual family reunion. This year China expects two billion journeys by plane, train, bus and ferry as exiles go home, travel among villages and then return to work. More than 120 million people — double the population of Britain — will travel.

Dozens of extra trains cannot cope with the migration. The more prosperous go by plane, but must still book weeks in advance. Booking a train ticket means queueing for as much as a day and a night. Airports and train stations are already scenes of chaos. China’s 140 million migrant workers — poor rural residents — have no choice but to queue for as long as it takes to buy a train ticket.

But while the poorest of China’s city residents may earn little more than £200 a year, they can probably afford an adult nappy.

They cost 20p each, to provide a little comfort and dignity on the journey.

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18th May 2011

Weird Japanese Dancing Chicks!!

This is just great they dance just like me after a couple of glasses of window cleaner on  Friday night.

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29th April

If you haven’t seen it already, this a video preview of the zombie portion of Call of Duty: Black Op’s upcoming May 3rd DLC release ‘Escalation’, in the style of an exploitation film.

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12th March 2011

It’s good to see the Chinese are keeping abreast of technology..

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8th March 2011

I saw this today it’s the mechnical test of an android, and this is the top of the range.  WHY ho WHY the fuck did they build a man everybody knows android women will sell like hot woman.”Lie down” “Bend over” “Shut Up” and this is why filmsdiffuse has been married 10 times.

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8th March 2011

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26th February 2011

What about some jpop

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16th February 2011

New water powered jetpack

New water powered jetpack and all for the low, low price of $136,000. JESUS, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO TURN A PROFIT SELLING THEM SO LOW?!

“It’s taken over 10 years for its Canadian inventor, Raymond Li, to realize his dream and see his jetpack go on sale, but judging by the pictures it looks well worth the wait.

The Jetlev has three main components — a lightweight carbon fiber backpack, a 10-meter hose and an engine unit which floats on the water.

The engine sucks water up through the hose and forces it through two adjustable nozzles on the backpack, creating up to 500 pounds of thrust…

Small adjustments to the hand controls allow pilots to control the speed — a maximum of 35 kph (22 mph) — and your height, which rises to a maximum of 10 meters (30 feet), according to the manufacturers.

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28th January 2011

Shaolin Monk Throwing Needle Through a Piece of Glass

I bet you can’t do this.

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07th January 2011

Missing Kirk!!!!

The website

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29th December 2010

Mark my words the imaginative and great minds at the film studios will be re making Gummi Bears as a 3D feature film.  Enjoy the song for now, it will be bastardised soon.

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11th December 2010

Cosplay

If you want to look better than everybody else at the next fancy dress party you need to get in touch with Jenni Källberg the master of Cosplay

Some others I like.

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11th December 2010

Mel Gibson Dickipedia

Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson, AO (born January 3, 1956) is an Academy Award-winning actor, director, producer, screenwriter, alcoholic, anti-Semite, and a dick. After establishing himself as a household name by appearing in such classics as Tequila Sunrise and Bird on a Wire, Gibson went on to direct and star in Braveheart, a film whose most famous scene involves an entire army bending over, lifting up its skirts, and waggling its collected buttocks at another army, which in response stands there with its swords erect, ready to ram deep inside the enemy’s “line.” Not surprisingly, this film is especially popular in American fraternity houses, along with tea bagging, communal showers, and bathroom stalls with no door. Read full article here dickipedia it’s very funny.

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17th November 2010

Mind Blowing Homemade Iron Man Costume

“32-year-old John Bekkensten, from Norway, is an established sculptor for the movie industry, with works featured in blockbuster hits like “Gladiator”. “Braveheart”, “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” and others. But John is also a big fan of Iron Man, so apart form his official projects, he spent over a year replicating the costumes of the popular hero and his sidekick, War Machine, out of fiberglass and plastic.

John ended up wearing the much cooler War Machine costume, while his buddy got the chance to be Iron Man. Together they got on double decker buses, took picture with London guards and managed to stun pretty much everyone they passed by.

All I can say is cocky bastard and I bet he ruins every fancy dress parties being a show off.

Walyou

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14th November 2010

R2-D2 Swim suite sexy

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14th November 2010

Charismas crap

Charismas crap on sale all ready – I saw these while out and about yesterday they made me laugh and I’m sure martin’s followers will be happy his memory still lives on.  Pope below, I hate religion.

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12th November 2010

Amazon sales of paedophile advice guide???????

A crazy bastard in Canada self-published guide giving advice to paedophiles that was on sale through online retailer Amazon is stirring up controversy, with some threatening to boycott the website.

The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover’s Code of Conduct has now been removed from sale.

I’m all for freedom of speech but this just sounds a bit sick. I don’t even want to know what research went in to this book!

BBC Article

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12th November 2010

Crystal Swing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Watch it from 6:06 onwards that’s some crazy leg dancing like plastic man.

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12th November 2010

We Are The World – Japanese

This is just crazy.

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07th November 2010

Pick your way out of this.

Check out this awesomely practical little guitar pick punch. You could buy a huge pile of picks for what it retails for, but then you wouldn’t get the satisfaction of creating your own custom picks out of flat pieces of plastic and other pick-worthy scraps you’ve got laying around.

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07 November 2010

Mysterious money

I saw an article in the press about Foundation X. This is crazy Lord James of Blackheath claims that a group of investors are willing to give the British government billions of pounds and in return they want nothing. This sounds like a high end Nigerian scam.

Below is the YouTube video of Lord James in the houses of parliament, he says that in order to do the deal the Prime Minster must call Foundation X to do the deal.

Watch the video and let me know what you think.

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16th October 2010

50’ Cent is a Twitter dick

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16th October 2010

Hot Chick Is A Pole-Dancing Ninja – say no more…

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16th October 2010

Wanker fits Pet turtle and tortoise with handles

A Delta man accused of attaching handles to his pet turtle and tortoise by drilling holes through their shells could be facing animal-cruelty charges.

“I was pretty furious when I saw them,” says Abbotsford’s Reptile Guy Mike Hopcraft, who took the animals from their owner on Tuesday. “He modified these animals to suit his lifestyle.”

Full Story here:

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02nd October 2010

Fucking idiot

Fucking idiot Dawn Lewis conned out of pension by fake CIA agent. Mental health volunteer Dawn Lewis claims she is now “destitute” after parting with £250 when the fraudster told her he could get cut price goods from the US Embassy.

Haha – I bet she wanted half price cigarettes.  The guy had the balls to driver her to the post office and collect her pension..But wait she’s no fool, so she says.

“I am no fool but I was duped by this man. He told me he was in the CIA and at first I didn’t believe him but then he showed me proof, he had this military sticker on his laptop saying he was in the CIA.

Read the full article in the Croydon Advertiser

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10th September 2010

The cool new banner.

09th September 2010

Mustache Baby video it reminds me of Bugsy Malone what a great movie.

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17th July 2010

A selection of photos:

 

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29th June 2010

Note: MUST WATCH video your head’s gonna explode from the cuteness.

This is a short video by Patrick Boivi entitled ‘AT-AT Day Afternoon’. It’s a one-minute documentary showing a typical day in the life of a pet AT-AT. Just watch it, you won’t regret it. And if you do regret it there’s obviously something wrong with you. My guess is an internal parasite. Your skin itches, doesn’t it? Sounds like a worm.

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29th June 2010

I saw this I thought of all the zombie hunters out there, I know how much a pain it is with chainsaw in one hand and claw hammer in the other it’s the axe that becomes a pain. You want it but can’t be arsed to carry it…No more the axe sling I can see people on the tube all eyeing each other up playing spot the zombie.

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29th June 2010

You know he whipped them off a fat chick.

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09th June 2010

Meat…MMMMMM

Why? You may ask we all need to name our meet, I just call it like it is DOG, CAT, BABY…Features:

• Comes with 55 letters plus spacers to spell out names or cooking instructions
• 16″ long
• Wooden handle
• Branding iron 41cm long
• Heat-resistant handle
• The BBQ Branding Iron should only be used carefully by adults as the product will get very hot.

Want one get it here

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05th June 2010

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05th June 2010

Star Wars Adidas

This is another awesome Star Wars-themed Adidas commercial featuring Snoop Dogg, David Beckham, and a bunch of other famous-ass  people. Plus there’s a funny Greedo  scene! And by, “a funny Greedo scene”, I mean, “a Greedo scene”.

Adidas Originals invites you to join David Beckham, Daft Punk, Snoop Dogg, Franz Beckenbauer, Noel Gallagher, Ian Brown, Ciara, Jay Baruchel, DJ Neil Armstrong and some of your dear, old friends for an intergalactic 2010 FIFA World Cup™ viewing party that you’ll never forget.

 

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18th May 2010

Epic Beard Man

Aka Vietnam Tom who gained internet fame on February 16th, 2010 in a video which was filmed by Iyanna Washington and was posted to YouTube. In the video, our elderly hero finds himself confronted by a racially sensitive and reasonably angry drunk black man who wanted to move to the front of the bus. He subsequently surprises us by delivering a beat down so crushing in its righteousness that it has touched the scrotum of Jesus himself.

No with new found fame the crazy beard man is making documentaries and Nemours TV appearances.

This is funny shit titled I AM A MOTHER FUCKER part 1

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14th May 2010

Mini Cannon Firing and Destroying Targets.

The only problem I can see with this Id shoot everybody in the office, someone will end up dead and I’ll be in jail or frame the guy I don’t like, you know who you are…and then spent the rest of my working life slagging you off in meeting saying I knew he would do something like that. Fuck it I’ll order two.

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Loo roll for a real man

I’m gonna get me some of this loo roll just for when I’ve got guests, you know what it’s like you sit down and start shitting then realise there’s no paper.

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03 May 2010

Somebody’s got to do it.

 

 

 

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21st April 2010

Underworld kingpin goes out in style:

 

 

Jailed underworld kingpin and basis for cult TV gangster series Underbelly is clubbed to death with exercise bike stem

Australia’s most notorious underworld figure, who was serving a life sentence for a string of gangland killings, was murdered today in a prison attack.

Carl Williams died after he was attacked by two inmates wielding an “implement” in the exercise yard of the high-security Barwon prison, south of Melbourne, a corrective services spokesman said.

Detective Inspector Bernie Edwards, speaking outside the prison, said the weapon was the “stem of an exercise bike”. He was clubbed from behind, Edwards said.

Williams, 39, who was made famous by the TV drama Underbelly, suffered head injuries and went into cardiac arrest, dying at the scene.

News and TV show Wiki find your own PirateBay link.

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04th April 2010

Everybody’s favourite drunk – The Hoff…

Turn it up and sing along I know you want to.

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02nd April 2010

Pissing money away has always been a fine line in modern art between a multimillion pound sculpture and a receptacle found in a gentlemen’s lavatory, but the distinction has grown even fuzzier after the discovery of several previously unknown copies of a famous urinal.

Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain – a urinal laid on its back and signed R. Mutt – has tested the boundaries of art ever since Duchamp first submitted it as a sculpture in 1917, but it has acquired huge value because it was one of the first objects to be considered art merely because an artist has said it is.

Versions of it are held by world renowned galleries including Tate, which is currently showing its copy at Tate Liverpool, and one fetched $1.8 million (£1.2m) when it was auctioned by Sotheby’s in New York in 1999.

Full article here Times Online

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28th March 2010

Pennsylvania police have charged a man with public drunkenness after reports that he tried to resuscitate a long-dead opossum on a highway.

 

 

Pennsylvania police have charged a man with public drunkenness after reports that he tried to resuscitate a long-dead opossum on a highway.

State police said several witnesses had seen Donald Wolfe, 55, tending to the roadkill about 65 miles (105 km) north-east of the city of Pittsburgh.

One reported seeing Mr Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance.

Another reported seeing him give mouth to mouth resuscitation to the carcass or in the industry it’s known as the tasty breath of life.

State police Trooper Jamie Levier said the animal had been dead a while, the Associated Press news agency reports.

The opossum, colloquially known as a possum, is about the size of a domestic cat.

Such animals are known to feign death when threatened, giving rise to the phrase “playing possum”.

Hit the jump for the BBC story.

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25th March 2010

Ever wonder what Meg from Family Guy would look like in real life? Well now you know. And probably wish you didn’t. Too late suckers — have fun dreaming about her tonight!

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23rd  March 2010

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21st March 2010

New Cops (Star Wars)

What it would be like working for the empire? Me Id be Darth’s cousin with minimal force powers just enough brain wash the blue dances in the bars.

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21st March 2010

Legalize the green stuff

The remote control is universal with a bottle opener attached. I don’t know how expensive they are but I do know how much it would cost to duct tape a regular bottle opener to my existing remote, so free is kind of my price point right now. And free, as you may know, is what we all want in a recession. BUT I HAVE MY DOUBTS. Know what I’m sayin’? Legalize the green stuff. Haha, whit why don’t I just move to LA and just go get a weed card? WAIT, WHAT?! Slow down you’re blowing my mind.

Bottle opener remote is perfect for couch potato beer snobs.

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14th March 2010

The 10 most expensive homes in the world:

For those who won the lotto this weekend and plan to place the lot on the roulette table tomorrow, always bet on the black. If you double your money here’s the property list you could thumb through while having your morning caviar and poached dinosaur eggs for breakfast. This is how the other half live…

1) “Antilla”, Mumbai – $1billion.This 27-story, 40,000 sq/ft tower, pictured above, where no two floors are the same, is the unique and extravagant creation of owners Mukesh and Nita Ambani. Costing more than a hotel or high-rise, due to its custom measurements and fittings, it comes complete with a six-story car park and actually begins on the ninth floor.

570 feet tall and mostly glass, it has a staff of 600 servants. The ballroom boasts a crystal chandelier ceiling and features retractable showcases for artwork and entertainment stages. It has an indoor/outdoor bar, green rooms and a nearby “entourage room” for security guards and assistants to relax. Each floor is double the average height, technically making it 60 stories tall, perfect for its own helipad. This home dwarfs any other, financially and in stature, and will probably be number one for a while.

2) Villa Leopolda, French Riviera – $506million.Made even more famous by recent press, this villa on the French Riviera was built in 1902 by King Leopold II of Belgium. Rumoured to have been home to many renowned people, including Bill Gates, it actually belonged to Edmond Safra, and still belongs to his wife Lily.

This 80,000+ sq/ft estate furnished with beautiful antiques is easily one of the worlds most spectacular. It boasts 19 bedrooms, sports courts, a bowling alley, multiple kitchens and dining rooms and movie theatre, all in the main villa. The size of the grounds is outstanding, with guest homes, multiple swimming pools and lavish gardens that need more than 50 full-time gardeners for maintenance.

3) The Penthouse, London – $200million.Atop the 82 other apartments at the famous Number One Hyde Park address will sit the most expensive flat in the world, at £6,000 per sq/ft. Only the highest level of security will do for these residents, guarded by the SAS, with special features such a panic rooms, bulletproof windows, iris scanners and even a secret tunnel to the nearby Mandarin Hotel. The building boasts communal spas, squash courts and even wine tasting rooms! This plush apartment will have 24-hour room service despite the floor to ceiling refrigerators.

4) Fairfield Pond, The Hamptons. – $170million.At 63 acres, the home of Ira Rennert, is considered the largest residential compound in the whole of America. The publicity shy billionaire is the proud owner of the most valuable home in the Hamptons; with 29 bedrooms, 39 bathrooms, as well as a huge dining room (91 feet long), 5 sports courts, bowling alley and a $150,000 hot tub, this beachfront home cuts no corners. Locals were outraged when they discovered that is was not in fact being built as a hotel, spa or religious retreat as they were apparently lead to believe, but in fact this massive property was to be used as a private house.

5) Hearst Mansion, Beverly Hills – $165million.This mansion, formerly owned by publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst (the inspiration for the main character in “Citizen Kane”), features 29 bedrooms and three pools. It even comes complete with its own disco and theatre. Steeped in pop culture history, it was the estate used in The Godfather when the infamous severed horse’s head turned up in its owner’s bed. It was also used by President JFK, who stayed at the mansion during his honeymoon. The house has some notable neighbours, including Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and David and Victoria Beckham.

6) Franchuk Villa, Kensington – $161million.This Victorian Villa was a girl’s prep school until 1997. Bought by developers and upgraded in 2006 with more than £10million worth of work, it was purchased by Ukrainian AIDS philanthropist, Elena Franchuk. Unusually for London, this 5-story home is freestanding, with 10 bedrooms, an underground indoor swimming pool, movie theatre, panic room, saunas and gym.

7) “The Pinnacle”, Montana – $155million.This luxury ski-lodge is to be the largest property in the exclusive billionaires-only private ski and golf community, “Yellowstone Club”. Naturally then, it will be the home of the owners of this elite group, Tim and Edra Blixseth. While not considered big compared to others on this list with only 10 bedrooms, this home will include heated flooring throughout the house that stretches all the way to the heated driveway, as well as fireplaces in all bathrooms, a huge wine cellar, an indoor/outdoor pool, gym and massage room.

8 “The Manor”, Los Angeles – $150million. His wife Cindy dubbed Aaron Spelling’s 56,000-square-foot LA mansion “The Manor”. Built for him in 1991 it has 123 rooms for his family to choose from. Nothing was spared in the creation of this home, with an indoor skating rink, multiple pools, three kitchens, sports courts, private orchard, and a bowling alley. Not happy with the “norm” for these mansions, there are also more unusual additions, such as a doll museum, a room used exclusively for wrapping presents and an entire floor dedicated to closet space

9) Updown Court, Windlesham, Surrey – $139million.This 40,000 sq/ft mansion is bigger than Buckingham Palace, has 103 rooms, is known as the most luxurious mansion in the world and has been billed as “the most important private residence to be built in England since the 19th century”. It too has a bowling alley, squash court, movie theatre, five swimming pools, a heated marble driveway and a staircase apparently modelled after the one found in Gianni Versace’s Miami mansion. Its standout factor however is the 24-carat gold leaf mosaic floor feature in 22 bedrooms and 27 baths. World famous in its reputation, it has been said of this property that, “if Elton John were a house, he’d be Updown Court”.

10) Dracula’s Castle, Romania – $135million.Built in the late 14th century this castle is a national monument and technically a museum thanks to Vlad the Impaler. However, this historical castle came on the market in 2009. Very different from the others on this list, this potential home would be more enticing due to its history and name, rather than the flash features it may possess. With 57 rooms in total, including 17 bedrooms filled with antiques and historical artefacts, this property is one for the quirkier billionaire. Only a few drawbacks may hinder; the 450,000 tourists that visit each year, as well as the fact that there is no central heating. However, is that all worth living in Dracula’s Castle? For people with this kind of money to spend that may be the case.

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13th March 2010

LazerTits

 

 

I found this site LazerTits it’s pointless unless you’re a red blooded male that likes lasers and tits.  Hit the jump for the site.

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12th March 2010

Underwater Seascrapers Of The Future

 

 

Seascaper, get it? Like a skyscraper, BUT IN THE OCEAN! What do you mean, “of course I got it?” I happen to know for a fact that there are several of you out there that don’t ever get anything but a smack around the chops!

hO2+ scraper is a design concept entered into the eVoIo Skyscraper Competition, and we’re thinking it must have had a good chance of winning. We especially like those balancing tentacles that keep it from flipping over as they generate power.

Its Waterworld come to life but I suspect will be cheaper than the film which cost $175m but still have bad actors wandering around the Seascaper just like the movie.

Hit the jump for a couple more conceptual renderings of what the future will look like until the Smokers blow it all up and steal our womens. JUMP

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12th March 2010

The names BOND.

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09th March 2010

Strapped to the back of the wedding car…

I can see these being used in Afghanistan for all the wrong reasons. “Sergeant why did you shoot all those people? They were going to a party”

Err..Ya’ll sir they has missiles all floating above them…

This is not an accurate account of what was said at camp bastion it was probably more fucked up and there were no balloons or party.

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7th March 2010

The celebutante:

 

We have many celebutante’s on both sides of the pond the paps bend over backwards to get the up skirt shot when they arrive at the opening of an envelope. But the diffuse writer likes Kim Kardashian. I just think she’s gorgeous, don’t get me wrong a relationship would be a fucking nightmare and a constant pampering to her extravagant demands just going out for no point just to be photographed. But you’d battle on, try and see it through to the end, doing hard time. When she’s whining at you smile and say to yourself make it work old boy…Or spend 99% of the time in bed who knows after I stalk her for six months we might end up getting married just like the blond chick from ABBA did with her stalker.

Wikki on my wife here

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23rd February 2010

Green screen me.

If Photoshopping believable images is hard work, I wonder how much more complicated it is to fabricate video. We’ve all seen green (or blue) screens in behind-the-scenes features for movies, but if you think that they’re only used for fantasy or science fiction films, think again.

Stargate Studios posted a reel of their “Virtual Backlot” from 2009, showing how they fabricated scenes used in various TV Shows, from Ugly Betty to Grey’s Anatomy to Monk to Heroes.

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12th February 2010

Raid of the Home of a Colombian Drug Dealer

 

 

What I want to know is how much money and gold guns did the police steal. None, says the chief with his gold AK47.

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10th February 2010

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10th February 2010

What no internet?

Try and get British telecom to set you up with broadband, haha yeah right you’ve probably got no phone signal to call them.

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10th February 2010

Just because it’s cool

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04th February 2010

I’d Be Good At This Game

This is not a game you try to beat, this is a game you try to play for as long as possible. ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A START. Come on, unlimited retries!

Gizmodo website

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02nd February 2010

I want them…boxlights

 

 

German designer David Oelschlaegel has won the title of ‘best product design’ for his boxlights, as part of [d3] design talents’ school competition at the imm cologne 2010. it has been the designer’s graduate project at burg giebichenstein university in halle, Germany.

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02nd February 2010

You kinky bastard:

For all you kinky bastards who also like a bit of sport why not combine the two! Go on I know you want to…

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25th January 2010

Holy Tweet: Pope Urges Priests to Use Digital Tools:

The pope’s message proclaimed that “priests can rightly be expected to be present in the world of digital communications as faithful witnesses to the Gospel” through means such as “images, videos, animated features, blogs and Web sites.” A brief clip of the speech that the pope gave can be viewed through the Vatican channel on YouTube.

In fact we’re going to sell off all the churches to line our already bulging pockets and the punters who come every Sunday can just watch the sermon on the YouTube channel then tweet in all your confessions, just as long as you’re not over the140 characters we’re in business. But wait how to make money?? Wanna a reply then you’ll have to pay using PayPal $2.00 a reply. Right now I’ve sorted the church out on to the cure for world famine.

(Full story here)

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25th January 2010

Bullet Train:

 

 

TOKYO—The iconic needle-nosed Japanese “bullet train” could speed through the swampy marshlands of central Florida if Yoshiyuki Kasai, the chairman of Central Japan Railway Co., gets his way.

Mr. Kasai on Monday announced efforts to bring the shinkansen, Japan’s bullet train, to the U.S. JR Central’s push to enter the U.S. comes as Washington prepares to announce how $8 billion in federal stimulus money set aside for high-speed passenger-train service is carved up.

JR Central is up against some tough competition, however. (Full article here)

Why don’t we bring the shinkansen, Japan’s bullet train, to the UK connecting Scotland to London instead of the 6 to 7 hours sat in uncomfortable seats drinking over priced cans of coke and eating soggy overpriced sandwiches we could do it in 2h opening up the country to day commuters. It’s just an idea Mr Brown.

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25th January 2010

Retro TV

 

 

Looks like the guys at LG are going old school with their latest TV.

The retro-styled LG Series 1 television doesn’t just look like an old set; it actually uses good old CRT technology. No flat screens here, just a old-fashioned 4:3 aspect ratio cathode ray tube for you to watch re-runs of the A-Team on. (Get One)

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24th January 2010

Dress to impress

 

 

Discover whether you’re a Saint or a singer in this puppy tooth checked jacket that brings back memories of those classic 60′s icons. Brook Taverner

These Vegas dress shoes are styled with a lace front to provide a comfortable fit. Dress shoes are the accepted footwear choice when attending any black tie event. They have been finished in paten for a classic evening wear look and at this price are exceptional value too.  MyTuxedo

The Homburg – Black hat tops of the outfit for a day in the office or walking around extorting your fellow colleagues out of hard earned cash.

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24th January 2010

IMicroscope

 

 

I knew for a while that you could use the iPhone’s camera to take really close up pictures of stuff, this is the first time I’ve seen an app that’s designed to help you take high quality scientific images with your iPhone’s camera.

iMicroscope is a new app that helps you take precision pics of microscopic stuff. Unfortunately, you’ll need a microscope in order for it to work, but if you’re a lab geek you probably have one or two of those lying around. The software is designed to help optimize photos taken through the viewfinder of any desktop microscope. According to its creator, the iMicroscope. All the lab assistance are taking photos of their cocks and texting straight to their girlfriends the new discovery.

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16th January 2010

AA-12. World’s deadliest shotgun.

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16th January 2010

I found a blog full of old photos of courtroom action, some of them are faces of people who’ve been told the chair is being warmed up, but one made me laugh, it is a pathetic, grim sort of humor- as in this case of a drunk who was given the choice of jail or a glass of castor oil. He took the castor oil. What about today’s youths in court we could give them the option six months in prison of the jury all get to kick you in the nuts!

Hit the jump to see more (Jump)

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16th January 2010

Starfleet patch me through to the ships gadget officer I need the new Starship Enterprise webcam.

It’s also great for doing video chats or sharing video with your fellow Trekkers around the galaxy. I’m sure that Trekkers all over the place will be rushing to buy one of these.

The warp nacelles even light up to give you that special starship effect. The webcam offers an appropriately 1960s retro-futuristic resolution of just 0.3 megapixels, and is capable of capturing 30 frames per second. It’s also got a handy bendable “gooseneck” mount so you can float the enterprise above your desktop or monitor.

You can get your Star Trek USB Enterprise Webcam from Brando for $30 (USD). Geek out.

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15^th January 2010

30,000ft Safari spots the rare long neck giraffe!

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15^th January 2010

A watch for you?

Next a former concept watch called the Vulcania has become flesh and bone. Designed by Fabrice Gonet for the three year old brand HD3 Complication. A trio-collective started by Jorg Hysek where he, Gonet and Valerie Ursenbacher design watches from their wildest imaginations.

The Vulcania name derives from the Jules Verne Steampunk hero, Captain Nemo and the island which was his home port. Like many of his contemporaries, Gonet has deconstructed the watch with its functions in a deeply set three-dimensional display, separating each gauge as a tribute to vintage naval technology both fictional (Nautilus) and fact (Turn-of-the-century mechanical submarines).

The hours are determined from the rotating wheel cylinders on the left, the minutes on a disc like a ship’s Chadburn Telegraph, a sextant style power reserve indicator, porthole loupe date window, and highlighted by the tilted bi-axial tourbillon. All the watch functions can be seen through its front and rear sapphire glass panels, side-viewing porthole, and the back plate has an etched map with its coordinates engraved on it. The case is titanium and platinum.

Here’s a Garotte Watch, first seen in From Russia With Love. It was originally used to strangle a man dressed as Bond, but then it was used against Jimmy B himself towards the end of the film where he was able to turn it on his attacker. I want one; I’ll use it on my boss. What I’ll do it follow him into the toilet and when he’s at the urinal I’ll garrotte him and then push him in the cubicle!!!

1970 Sicura Safari Knife Watch

But wait – The 1970 Sicura ‘Safari’ Knife-watch. Oh…probably because of all the accidental-slit-wrist lawsuits. Sicura isn’t around today, hmm. I wonder if you could board a plane wearing this.

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11th January 2010

Chairs placed on streets of NYC, then tracked with GPS

Blue Dot Studio put 25 of their chairs on the streets of Manhanttan, and then followed the chairs through a combination of GPS and video surveillance as people picked them up and took them home–which, by the way, the public could follow in real time on Twitter. Then they interviewed the chair-collectors. This is the film.

I love the friendly use of hacked mobile and surveillance technologies to enhance the shared nature of urban experience, and the exploration of how today’s brick-and-mortar cities are fused with real-time electronic interactions. I love the way these people talk about how the chairs intersect with their lives, and the passionate way they speak of “curb-mining” and upcycling the things they find on the city streets.

http://www.vimeo.com/8201309

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11th January 2010

In June 09 an American company Terrafugia, Inc. unveiled there flying car, watch out jetsons here we come. It looks OK but straight away I can see myself building up speed, gotta hit 88mph down Oxford St chopping people’s heads of with the wings.

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10th January 2010

Everybody knows good things come in small packages.  HAHA Bullshit Mr. small cock… ASPECT’s design makes it a good thing FOR small packages. It’s the flat panel TV stand engineered specifically for smaller flat screens. I like big tellies; everything gotta be big except a girl’s ass.

It’s pretty cool but no room for the xbox, playstation, Hi-fi and computer running 24/7 downloading but check out the site for some nice TV cabinets (Jump)

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10th January 2010

If your like me sat chugging coffee from dusk till dawn just to keep going then you need SANTOS,  no other coffee maker has fascinated passionate coffee drinkers. Unforchantly all purchases don’t come with a bikini clad woman to make the coffee that’s extra and a different website. I’m sure I’ve got it saved in my bookmarks let me ckeck…

Jump to coffee pots (Jump)

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8th January 2010

‘Hey what you doing this weekend? Ho nothing just off to Stoke Park.

Stoke it’s a fucking shithole.

But no Stoke Park offers luxury 5 star standard accommodation within easy reach of Heathrow, Windsor and London. 49 exquisite bedrooms, open to members and non-members alike, boast the finest in interior design and comfort. It where kings and queens come to play.

Nice I’m gonna buy it as my second home.
(Jump)

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08th January 2010

We all want to jet around and avoid the tubes or motorways let me tell you not from experience just from reading, OK I know but this looks good to me business jet, private jet or, colloquially, bizjet is a term describing a jet aircraft, usually of smaller size, designed for transporting groups of business people or wealthy individuals and now we can all do it. Thank is if you pass the security and have a spear 10k lying about.

LunaJets are selling of the seats in private jet for a fraction of the cost, they say. “With LunaJets you pay a fraction of business jet real cost, and sometimes less than a business or 1st class fare!

Have a look and of you book one let me know if your sat in the cargo with the cattle.

Link (LunaJets)

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07th January 2010

The cold weather snap across Britain plunged to new temperature lows causing the sea to freeze in Dorset and bringing chaos to the roads. It’s like Siberia and when my friends are in Asia sending me messages like. ‘It’s just too hot the sweat’s just rolling off my brow’ hopefully into your beer you bastards. But we need to keep our noggins warn and I’ve found a great website for hats. Me I’m going to order the Viking Helmet and find a wench then together we can drink beer from the horns.

Hit the jump for Village Hats (Jump)